Body Language

YOUR BODY LANGUAGE
Be aware and control your body language. Negative body language always has an adverse effect in a conflict. Let’s start with your approach

 

PERSONAL SPACE
Never invade someone’s personal space. Standing too close gives them the impression that you’re intruding. A good distance is about arm’s length.

 

STANCE:
Always face the person you are talking to with your hands at your sides. Never cross your arms in front of you. When you do that, it gives the impression that you are putting up a barrier signaling that you don’t trust them or that they are lying. Remember you will need their trust in order to bring them into the Green zone.

 

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
Avoid negative facial expressions. Don’t smirk, roll your eyes, squint your eyes or look at them mean like you are being critical.
Remember, you are trying to stop the conflict, not inflame it.
So, look concerned and occasionally nod your head affirmatively as they’re talking will make them feel that you are listening and understand their side of the conflict.

 

THEIR BODY LANGUAGE
Facial expressions can be voluntary, like smiling for the camera or involuntary like getting caught in a barefaced lie.
Whenever you see someone giving a negative expression or negative body language, consider them clues regarding their current disposition and truthfulness.

 

EYE CONTACT

When they’re talking to you someone, and they don’t make eye contact or they look away, look at the ground or look up toward the sky, those could be signs of deception.

 

SQUINTING EYES

If a person squints their eyes when answering questions or when accused of something that could be another clue that they are having with that issue.

 

TIGHTENING LIPS

When a person tightens their lips when questioned that could be a clue that they are angry or trying to be deceptive.

 

TONE OF VOICE
Although the voice is not actually a facial expression, it can reveal deception and anger as well. When their voice becomes shaky, high- pitched or start raising their voice that could be a sign of denial, deception, anger or frustration.

 

RELYING ON EXPRESSIONS

Never make a judgment or come to a conclusion based just on facial expressions or body language, for that matter. However when you observe two or more negative expressions occurring during the conversation, be alert and concerned that it is a clue that the person is not being totally honest, they do not want to cooperate or they are hiding the fact that they were responsible for starting the conflict.

 

AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
Aggressive people are against anything that stands in their way.
There are all kinds of aggressive people some are openly aggressive while others can hide it.

Some of them will be polite, some passive, some aggressive and some will be just plain rude.
Usually, the last two (aggressive and rude) are the ones that will cause conflicts and arguments. It’s just their core values speaking out.

Here’s a few examples of aggressive people:

  • BULLIES
  • HOSTILE COMPLAINERS
  • ANXIETY RESENTFUL CRITICS

 

THINGS TO AVOID

Avoid saying or doing anything that would affect clear communication. For instance:
You already decided what the problem was before hearing both sides of the issue.

You are asking too many questions.
You are not giving the person time to explain. You continually interrupt.

It’s best to just let them talk because what they say may be the key to resolving the conflict.

 

ESCORTING UNWANTED PEOPLE
There may come a time when you are asked to physically escort someone from a client’s building. Try to determine what zone they are in. Have the building manager confirm it and justify why he wants the person to be removed.

Once you know the reason they’re being asked to leave, advise them that the manager demands they leave the building, and if they don’t, they will be breaking the law and subject to arrest. If you are licensed to make an arrest, then you might be making the arrest. If you do not have arrest powers, then tell him that if they don’t leave you will call the police.

Some will leave when asked, others will want to argue, some may refuse, and some may even become aggressive.

The person that leaves when asked is usually not a problem because they are already on the edge of the yellow and green zone.